Classical U
Educating Families Classically....And Having A Good Bit of Fun
Does a world of "liking" exclude true love?
Jonathan Franzen asks this question seriously in this NYT opinion essay: "Liking Is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts." His reflections are based on a commencement speech that he delivered at Kenyon College this past Spring.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/29/opinion/29franzen.html
There is no such thing as a person whose real self you like every particle of. This is why a world of liking is ultimately a lie. But there is such a thing as a person whose real self you love every particle of. And this is why love is such an existential threat to the techno-consumerist order: it exposes the lie.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rick Allen on -
Interesting. Especially that love forgives what you don't like (about a person). Isn't it true, though, that our natural, unplugged lives, at least for a great many of us, consist of throwing out there bait to 'like'? The idea of being 'PC' (politically correct), for example, existed well before the PC (personal computer). A co-worker of mine once said that he'd rather be liked by others by limiting his talk to topics such as how a person's weekend went, etc., and avoid the controversial topics of politics and religion. He believed that you could not get to know a person by speaking of these "external" topics because they tend to divide and don't get to the meat of a person. To the contrary, is there no better way to get to know a person that to hear what he thinks about his own mortality and purpose? I'm not so sure the digital world has introduced a new paradigm in the world of personal honesty. People continually 'like' or 'dislike' us every time they glance at the clothes we wore for the day. Hopefully we know there is more to a person than his pseudo-torn jeans or bright jersey, in the same way we know that there is more to a person than his status update.
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Permalink Reply by Jesse Hake on -
Enjoyed your comments! You strike at the core of the issue with this statement: "I'm not so sure the digital world has introduced a new paradigm in the world of personal honesty." Both privacy and personal honesty are important because we are very fragile sinners who nevertheless image God (serve as the chief stewards of His glory within creation). Personally, I find it hard to honor my limits when faced with such a potent tool. I can only love substantively in smaller doses, and liking so broadly takes time.
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Permalink Reply by David Logan on -
Although Franzen wasn't necessarily speaking to this issue, I think that the mindset he describes helps explain why dating has replaced courting. People are too busy liking each other and trying to find out what type of person fits them to bide their time and fall in love with one beautiful, broken, dirty person.
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